Starting my journey - again

45M, 5' 9", SW 210lbs, CW 202lbs, GW 170lbs

Where do I begin? Well - here's how I look today: https://imgur.com/4auA7gj

When I was a kid, I was always skinny. Like 120lbs skinny when I graduated high school. After dropping out of college, I managed to gain 20 pounds, but was still super skinny. No matter what I did, I never gained weight. I met my now wife at that weight. I was really too thin - see here: https://imgur.com/qSrwM7s

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2004. My doctor at the time also diagnosed me with depression and put me on a medication and said "you may gain some weight while you're on this". Did I ever! I put on 80 pounds over the course of maybe 6 months. At first, I was happy. I always thought I was too thin, and really didn't like the way I looked, but nothing ever changed. I could eat, work out, do all kinds of things, and stay the same weight. But now I had some meat on my bones - even if it was just fat.

Fast forward to more recent times. I've now hovered around 210lbs, and decided it was time to make a change. About a month ago, I cut out most pop/soda out of my diet, but didn't really change too much else. I've lost a little, but don't see any difference yet. I carry most of the weight in my midsection, giving me a (what seems to me) an odd shape. Some call it the "dad bod", I call it my secret shame. I looked in the mirror the other night and decided that I had to start doing something about it. Turns out, I found out 17 years later, and after taking the medication for 13 years - no depression. My lows were just lows associated with the bi-polar disorder. I'm now off the problem medication and ready to make a serious change.

My wife and I are starting to count calories to make sure we are at a deficit. I'm using the LoseIt app, and so far I really like it. After just a few days, I've gotten into the habit of logging each and every thing I eat or drink. Tonight, after dinner, I'll go for a short walk - something I haven't done in a long time. My job is sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours a day. I work from home right now thanks to COVID, so I get up from my desk, go to the couch and there I sit for hours until it's time for bed. It's time to change my routine. I'd like to bulk up a little - but I think my frame is a little too small to get overly muscled. Just looking for a little more definition, I guess. Not sure how I feel about strength training on top of everything else. But I'm not sure if simply cutting calories will do the trick, either.

If you've made it this far - thanks. No real reason for this wall of text post other than to introduce myself, and have a little accountability.

Thanks for reading - let's all keep on keeping on!

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