Starting out as a mess. Hello!

A little less than a year ago, I peaked at 356 lbs. I had just had an episode of psychosis and had bad inflammation and my feet were practically double their size... which for some reason happens to me during psychosis in the past 5 years or so? (I have bipolar.)

The next doctor visit I was 342. My weight had been around 340 give or take 4 pounds through the beginning of this year. After my most recent doctor visit in January, I hadn’t weighed myself. I really just didn’t care. I didn’t take my metformin. I ordered doordash almost everyday. Depression. Complete and utter “I do not care about myself” depression.

For some background: I’m 5’6.5”. I’ve always been on the heavy side but had two good rounds of losing weight. First at 21-22 I went from 196 to 170 (plateued at 170). Then at 26ish I went from 242 to 205. So I know how to lose weight. But every time I have a psychotic manic episode my meds get jacked up and I gain a lot of weight very fast. One day I can run 3-5 miles straight and then after two months, I can barely walk a mile. I pretty much gave up in 2016.... Some bouts of exercise here and there but in the past year or two, close to nothing.

Also I have polycystic ovarian syndrome working against me in addition to all the psych meds with weight gain as side effect- seroquel, lithium, lamictal, sleep medications.....

Last week Sunday, I snapped out of my depression- at least the really deep stuff. I came up with an idea for a project that I can do long term that I would enjoy and could potentially lead to making some money. The next morning I tested my blood sugar for the first time in months and it was 370. Yeah, I decided to start right then and there, starting with cleaning my absolute mess of an apartment, taking my metformin and going to a big target for workout clothes, healthier food, and 2000+ steps for the day lol...

And although I could probably push myself to walk 2-3 miles, 1.5 miles is uncomfortable. On Tuesday, I weighed 330 lbs and was confused. I googled high blood sugar and saw one of the side effects is weight loss due to muscle atrophy. Yikes! So I might have lost as much as 8-10 lbs of muscle.

I’ve walked my little 1.5 miles 5 out of 7 days this past week. I just realized my apartment building’s brand spankin new gym is open and it is a NICE gym. (I went for the first time last night.. it opened right before COVID and had to almost immediately shut down.)

I am cutting my sugar as much as possible. I have a little stash of sugar free candy and have a piece if I have a craving. I’m gradually replacing my dairy products with plant-based stuff. I signed up for a keto dinner mea delivery thing. I’m not doing full keto, but I don’t like cooking and grocery store frozen dinners usually have pasta or rice and low carb works best for PCOS.

This morning my blood sugar was 209 and weight was 327.

My biggest fear is loose skin. I got every supplement under the sun, body exfloiating stuff, and creams.

Hold me accountable? I’ll check in at 300 lbs.

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