I'm finally doing something with myself and I feel hopeful

I've been chubby to overweight my whole life. I hate my body. But this has never motivated me to seriously attempt losing weight. It has motivated me to treat myself badly and eat my emotions away. So many talks of applying to gym, running, swimming, dieting but when it came to actually doing something, I had no willpower. My mentality is if I like it - I want it - now. Unfortunately the things that I like are cigarettes, alcohol and overeating. I eat when I'm sad, happy, afraid, angry... I eat when I'm not hungry. I eat when I order myself not to eat. I eat when I hate that I'm still eating. I eat after I ate. I have no control.

I recently got a summer job, after a year of trying to find one. I moved to an island because of this and realised that without the constant allure of my parents' full fridge at 3 am and no friends who are as excessive drinkers as I am, I have a chance to turn my life around. With my colleagues living with me, I'm too ashamed to stuff my face with two brim full plates of spaghetti. With limited resources, I can't afford eating fast food often. Without a cheap taxi service, I can't call a cab whenever I feel like not walking.

I'm eating only once a day, a cooked meal, and I only buy healthy ingredients. I'm walking more and swimming every day. I'm determined to come back looking better, and if my determination fades away like it always does, I literally have no alternative but to continue.

submitted by /u/sjorbepo
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