Feeling lost and bad about myself

Hi everyone! I have always struggled with how I see my body and how I look. I’m 21F 5’10” so I’m pretty tall and always seen myself as so much bigger than those around me even when I’m thin. Anyway, I gained about 45 pounds since March. 15 of which, I probably needed to gain to be completely honest. I was not eating right or enough prior to this. Then I got a concussion which took me a long time to heal from and I steadily gained weight as I ate more and moved less.

Then I had to restrict a lot of food to help with some symptoms and while it helped it triggered something i me because I’ve been bingeing and overeating for months. Lately, if feels I’m constantly eating. I keep watching the scale go up and I’m scared.

I have another concussion and just don’t know how to cope sometimes especially with the weight gain and everything considered. I can’t exercise right now and I have no clue when I’ll be able to again. I feel so stuck and I just keep gaining.

I think I’m going to try and count calories bui don’t know how much to eat because being in a dramatic deficit won’t be good for me right now.

I just want to be at a normal weight and it seems I’m always under or now, over weight. I’d like to lose 25-30 pounds and keep it off.

How do I do this sustainably without being able to exercise right now?

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