Therapist Gave Me 'Homework' but It Never Ends!

Earlier this year, I (F23, 220lb 5'9) decided to seek help for my very quickly deteriorating mental health. I was diagnosed and put on medication by a psychiatrist, found a regular physician, and also found a very wonderful and understanding therapist that I see weekly. My therapist has helped me immensely in the months I've been seeing her. And with how much she's helped me, I've realized I'm unhappy with myself largely because of the habits that contribute to my weight. (Watching excessive re-runs, eating late at night causing a shitty feeling in the morning, large amounts of social media, etc) Those types of repetitive actions can lead to a decline not only in physical health, obviously, but also your mental health. Basically I have to break the habits and thought processes that were instilled in me since childhood in order for things to change mentally, as well as physically. We are not responsible for what occurred to us a children but we are responsible for repairing what faults come to us as adults.

Since I was a pre-teen, I've always been around >180lbs even when eating right. As far as physical health goes, aside from the actual number on the scale, I am completely healthy. All tests came back fine.Not pre-diabetic or anything. My heart and lungs are strong. But I dont have memories of being any smaller than 180 due to trauma, though there are photos. I'd love to create and retain new memories without the filter of the past or feeling terrible with my weight.

My therapist gave me homework although it doesn't end when the week does. She has given me the honor of working out in order to improve my mental health. (I worded that in order to not sound like a chore). I have been told since childhood that I need to work out and eat right. I've gotten down eating right for the most part but always neglected working out. I didnt have the drive. But if anything will push me to work out, it will be not feeling this way anymore.

I am honestly hoping that with this publication, even if it gets no traction, ill hold myself accountable. I don't want to be another statistic that folds to its diagnoses. I want to check in monthly and update, for myself. Maybe one day I'll post a before/after pic. Today is the day I start working out. An hour a day, no matter what. For my mental health so I can be around for my family and their life milestones. Thanks for reading.

See you next month, friends.

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