I feel like I have failed myself. 26F, 5’7”

Hi all.

I have been on a weight loss journey since June 2019.

In June 2019, I began working out 4-5x a week, eating keto, limiting my alcohol intake, and socializing less to avoid the temptation of unhealthy foods.

I began at 350 lbs. and last year, I got to my lowest weight of 225 lbs. I felt so happy, I was running, getting stronger, weightlifting, eating right, tracking my calories, and drinking plenty of water.

Then January 2021 hit and I really, really, really wish I fully understand what I did to self-sabotage myself. Hanging with friends more often has definitely led me back to eating unhealthy/drinking and I think because things are going back to “normal” I’m overindulging since last year was so constricted.

I jumped on the scale today and found that I’m 275 pounds. That means I’ve gained 50 lbs. since January of this year. I have felt physically ill and cried so much today, I am so upset with myself.

I told myself today is the last day I will feel sorry for myself and I’m starting back over today. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar?

I am so ANGRY at myself and hate the way that I’m feeling. I want to do better, be better, and live longer.

Please share any advice you can give.

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