The Chocolate Craving Part Deux

I've been craving chocolate. Every day. For weeks. And I haven't had a chocolate bar.

It is fairly easy to do so at home since I don't put chocolate on the shopping list. In order for me to have chocolate, I'd have to get up and go to the store. I have this same conversation every time I write the shopping list - I should put something sweet on here. I've been craving sweets. Why haven't I put sweets on it? Yeah, because I know I don't want to eat sweets. And another week goes by without sweets on the list.

Today, I had to go to the store, and found myself having a staring contest with a Twix bar at the checkout counter. Embarrassed, I mentioned to the cashier that I'd been saying no to chocolate for a while, and I was thinking I should get some chocolate to reward myself, but that would be besides the point. She became awkward, and I then noticed that she was larger than me and wiping off her mouth from something she was consuming behind the counter. Which leads to a little side note PSA: not every time someone smaller than you mentions food, their diet, their weight, they're not always being passive aggressive about your weight. Sometimes it really is what they're feeling about themselves. I didn't even notice her weight until after I mentioned the chocolate.

How many times will I say chocolate in this post?

I managed to not get the chocolate. Later, I found myself in a neighborhood I rarely visit, and anticipated the bakery there that serves the most decadent and delicious cake I've ever had. I think about the cake quite a bit, as it's my favorite cake, I love cake, I've always loved cake and this is my favorite cake. I rarely get it - maybe once or twice a year or less - because it's sold by the slice, is quite expensive, and weighs so much I dare not consider how many calories it has in it. I haven't had any type of cake since Easter time, so I wanted some cake. I deserve some cake. After all, I haven't been eating cake lately, and I've been looking at the box of cake mix in the cabinet for a few days now, every time I crave chocolate, which has been quite a lot lately. I drove near the bakery and imagined the cake. I saw a parking spot right in front of the bakery. I said no, and drove past it.

I got home and ate a mango. I'm still craving chocolate and it doesn't really matter. I'm not going to go to the store to get chocolate, and I'm not in the mood to bake a cake, so, I guess I'll just have to lose the weight I want to lose instead.

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