Sad about something that happened with friends in a store
I did a cross country move, I'm in grad school, I work full time - none of which are excuses for not taking care of myself but I've basically gained all the weight I lost back and then some and I feel like garbage about it.
but yesterday I was with my partner and friend at a lululemon and they were trying on clothes. I hate going to malls, I know nothing will fit and I'll just look from shelf to shelf not finding things. The other two were nicely encouraging me to try stuff on - I know they just wanted me to have fun and take part in the process and they started flipping through a rack of pants because they were sure the store would have my size. The conversation went "No look! they have all sizes! What are you a 33? 35? they have them! Look they even have 38!" and it was just soul crushing.
I tried on a different pair of pants with some stretch but it obviously was too small and I felt bad. I felt like crying and I feel like crying all over again writing this. And it's my fault, I'm the only person to blame for what I look like and how I feel and that's frustrating too. I'm just really sad right now
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